The Hang

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” –Tao Te Ching

It’s been a while since I last whipped out my tarot cards. Having slept all day and unable to sleep tonight, I decided to kill my boredom by doing a reading. I opted to pick one card from my deck with the intention for the card to tell me something I needed to understand.

I drew out The Hanged Man.

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Looking at the card, the first thing I noticed was how chill the guy was despite hanging by a foot from a tree. His other leg was bent and his arms were behind his back. It’s like he’s on vacation! His situation was not worrying him it seems. Also, because he was hanging by a foot, I would have expected for gravity to have stronger pull on him. So why was he still so relaxed and at peace despite the predicament he is in?

From my intuition and research, The Hanged Man card can be said to signify letting go and surrendering to “what is.” Hanging upside down can mean looking at things differently as well.

Let it go. I have heard it a lot the past few days. I didn’t like myself these past few days to be honest.

In yoga

I learned how to flip my downward dog already. I managed to make a split with my right leg forward. Yet, I still cannot manage Chaturanga Dandasana (Four-Limbed Staff Pose) no matter how I tried.

My belly keeps dropping first, my shoulders collapse, and everything else always goes wrong when I attempt it. So, I asked for the teacher’s guidance on how to do it. At home, I watched YouTube videos on how to do it. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, my elbows won’t bend when I try to move from high plank to low plank. Then, I collapse on my mat.

Rina, my work colleague who inspired me to try yoga again, is very encouraging. She keeps on telling me not to rush myself and to not be ashamed of going for modified poses when I cannot do the main ones yet. But, stubborn me and my pride won’t let it go. So, despite my sore muscles, I kept trying and trying to do it at home.

Long story short, I now have very sore shoulders that hurt every time I raise my arms. I pushed myself too hard beyond my limit. All because I couldn’t accept that I am not yet strong enough to pull of the move.

In my relationships

I do not understand why I still keep on reaching out to people I want to avoid. They make me feel like crap, but I still approach them anyway, trying to see any sliver of hope that I can make the relationship work.

There’s someone I haven’t seen in a long time but I refuse to go out and see this person. Why? I am mightily scared of this person because of a long history of unhappy experiences. Yet, I am pissed at myself because I still care even if it’s just a little bit.

So, I sent this person gifts for Christmas through a courier. I did not hear anything although this person received the package. Don’t get me wrong. I was not expecting to hear this person’s gratitude or to receive gifts in return. Any reaction was highly acceptable. I just needed assurance that this person is still alive and kicking.

I told my friend, Alex, about it. I told him I felt like crap because I made a conscious decision to stay away from that person at all costs, yet I reach out and hope for a reaction. I am so messed up.

Alex told me to let it go. He’s right. But all I could think of doing was replying with a GIF of Channing Tatum in Elsa’s costume, singing “Let It Go.”

In my faith

I was talking to my work colleague, Hanna, about my recent attempts to attend the church services of this born-again Christian group. I opened up to her about my Catholic upbringing and my lack of the habit to go to church every Sunday to hear mass. I shared with her my reasons for looking into attending church service outside my Catholic religion.

While we were on the topic, I also admitted to her how everything still feels different for me. One of the things that feel so foreign to me is seeing people sing with their arms raised up and their eyes closed. I told her how much I wondered how profound those people’s experiences are of God that they could do that without fear of judgment. I bet that if I were to do that, I will feel mightily embarrassed. Don’t get me wrong. I am faithful; just not showy.

Hanna replied that she was told by someone that being able to do that means you have been freed of the shackles around your wrists (metaphorically). I guess that by being free from those chains, one becomes less inhibited to display their faith that way.

Back to the card

If were the one hanging by a foot, I bet I would have been in a panic while trying to grab on to the branch to free myself. I doubt I’ll be able to do that given my weak core muscles though. But, you get the point. I could never be as chill as that guy in the card.

I have a bad habit of holding close everything that is dear to me. Letting go has not been my biggest skill even if I preach it to other people. So, it’s good to be reminded of what I need to practice on.

 

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Tarot 101 Workshop by Jammi

“Divination is the quest to understand more about the past, present, and future. In other words, Tarot readings are an attempt to understand ourselves better and discover how we might live better in the future.” ― Theresa Cheung, Teen Tarot: What the Cards Reveal About You and Your Future

You might remember that I previously went to a journaling and tarot workshop two months ago. I greatly enjoyed that workshop and have since then tried to learn more about tarot reading.

However, my busy schedule does not permit me so much time to pore over books, trying to memorize the meaning of the cards and the meanings of their different combinations. My tarot deck took a backseat for some time and I was completely focused on my work and my blog.

CaptureOne night, while unable to sleep, I started looking for workshops to look forward too again. In my search, I came upon an event posted by Persephone – A Seasonal Kitchen (a restaurant) on Facebook. It was a tarot workshop on May 13. It was to be headed by Jammi Nedjadi, a Reiki-Shaman and full time Lightworker who has been reading tarot and oracle cards for roughly fifteen years by now.

I immediately signed up for a slot, praying that it was not fully booked yet. I sent the message on Friday and the event was already that coming Sunday. Luckily, the universe granted my hopes to be able to attend this workshop.

img_7190The restaurant was just 15 minutes away from my house so I did not have to hurry up so much to leave. It was a cozy place that offered what looked like very yummy food to me. But, I just had my brunch two hour ago and was not really hungry. So, I just ordered my favorite leafy chips: fried kangkong (water spinach). Oh my gosh! It’s my new favorite already, bumping off the same dish from Kanin Club! I love it so much!

Soon after I got there, the event began. We started my a mini reading from one of Jammi’s friends, Jennifer. Basically, the cards told me that in order to be successful in the endeavor I had in mind, something from the past has to end. I think I know exactly what that is!

After the mini reading, we were given decks to use throughout the workshop. They were not all tarot decks. Some were game cards, I think. My partner, Aya, and I were given Dixit cards.

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The practice was to use our intuition in reading. Jammi mentioned how intuitive reading helped her friends learn tarot reading much more quickly than by memorizing the meaning of each cards. She gave us tips on where to buy cards, how to read reverse cards and how questions are appropriately phrased.

Aya and I took turns, eventually switching partners with Kia and Paula. We also had a fun time reading, Paula and I.

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The workshop did not teach us the meaning of each cards. Rather, we were taught to listen to our intuition and to the universe. It was quite amazing how, even by just using playing cards, we were able to make readings that had each other saying “woah!” and “spot on!” every now and then.

The event did not just teach me about tarot. It also allowed me to meet people who came from different backgrounds but were still awesome in their own rights. I learned a lot from the experiences they shared too, making me feel like I also grew in maturity that day.

I look forward to learning more about tarot and meeting more awesome people in the process! I also look forward to trying other dishes from Persephone – A Seasonal Kitchen because the menu looked very, very promising!

Inkling: A Tarot and Journaling Workshop

IMG_5798Last March 17, I attended a tarot and journaling workshop at Craft MNL. It was my first time to attend a workshop with Craft MNL and my first time to attempt learning about tarot reading. I was very excited and though I was still recovering from my sprain, I made it a point to attend (I was half-way paid even before I got sprained).

It was a small group. There were only six of us attending the workshop led by Chinggay Labrador from @practical_magical for the tarot reading and by life coach Aurora Suarez from @yourheartcraftedlife for the journaling part. The workshop package included a brand new deck of Rider Waite tarot cards which made the deal and experience even sweeter!

We started by talking about intuition and how powerful of a tool it is. The workshop was not meant to make us really good at tarot reading right away and I think three hours is not enough for that. Instead, it helped us tap into our intuition to know what the card is telling based on the basic knowledge given to us about the card meanings.

For my Past-Present-Future reading attempt, I got the following cards: The Fool, Nine of Swords and Ten of Pentacles.

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Research says that The Fool indicates innocence and beginnings. It is also the card of unlimited potential. That is my past.

Nine of Swords means anxiety, despair, excessive worrying and fear of the future. That is my present.

For my future, I got Ten of Pentacles which indicates wealth, establishment, comfort, accomplishment… Okay, I got it. It’s the card of success. That sounds good, right?

So how can I relate to these cards? I recently moved from an internal audit to an IT audit type of job. I am aiming for certifications that will help me get the tools that I need in order to achieve my goal of going into fraud examination that is somehow on the IT side of things. In order to achieve those certifications, I must have IT audit experience. Thus, I arrived at my decision for a career change.

In December of 2017, I was ‘The Fool.” I was someone who was embarking on a new journey in my career life and venturing into my third field of audit. I had no strong background in IT general controls but I do have a good background when it came to risk identification and assessment. The more technical stuff, they expect me to learn and master as I go along.

This leads me to my current situation. My line manager is leaving. Hence, as his deputy, I have to take on most of the tasks of his role once he is gone. I do worry because I am only just getting the hang of my new work and now, I have to take on more tasks too. And that of a more senior officer!

Despite that, I welcome it as an opportunity to improve myself and be better in my work. It’s an experience that will surely make a better professional out of me. I just could not help but overthink stuff sometimes. At least our senior team manager is very supportive and he assured me that he will guide me along the way until they find a replacement for my line manager.

This makes it sound like my future card reading is a sign that if I worked hard enough, I will achieve what I want. The pentacles represent the element of earth though so I have to make sure I stay grounded and humble. Instead of seeing obstacles here and there, I am now seeing lots of open doors–opportunities to prove myself. I just need to work really hard at it and not give up when I am having difficulty already. No pain, no gain.

I am not in a hurry to take those certifications. I want to build a solid foundation first by really knowing my job well. At least the card reading gives me a boost of confidence.

I know, I know. The cards cannot determine my destiny because it is something I should work hard for. I just use it somehow as a motivation to do even better. That being said, I should work on my motivation board already.

After learning about tarot, I learned more about self-care and how journaling can help me be more in touch with myself. I learned how to get my thoughts to flow and turn into ink on paper. It was not about the usual dear-diary writing. Instead, it was something deeper than that.

I fell in love with that notebook and card that they gave to us during the workshop because the messages written on them were exactly what I needed to hear. What’s even more amazing is that the supplier of the cards and notebooks, Micah, joined us in our activity! IMG_6030

For more of these cute paper products that are filled with positivity and inspiring messages, visit Micah’s Eden Street website. I am sure you will love her products!

Also, Eden Street is on a summer-long sale to celebrate its second anniversary! Go check out her products right now!

In a world of competing demands for our attention and focus, it’s sometimes difficulty to listen to ourselves and to know how exactly we are feeling. Journaling, I believe, helps a lot in that aspect as it is something very personal and requires us to be honest with ourselves in order to have something to write about. It’s like thinking out loud but our voice is the paper and our mouth, the pen.

I tremendously enjoyed this workshop and hope to learn more about tarot reading. I have uncovered my sister’s old tarot cards and books that she used when she was also into learning this art way back when we were teenagers. I plan to read the books and practice reading the cards. I do not want to make a career out of it though. I want to do it for fun.

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My sister’s old tarot cards and reading materials.

28946985_605049846500859_8452938138205940165_oI also started journaling already, using the pens I have hoarded over the years but have not used since I got them. My golly! I am such a pen hoarder! In the picture is just a quarter of the pens I have all in all. I wonder from whom I inherited this habit…

Do you like tarot readings? Have you tried them and have they worked for you? I still believe we create our own destiny but, these are fun to do from time to time, right?

Crystals, Cards and Coincidences

Facebook Events surely is helpful in letting you discover or learn about stuff you had no idea about in the past. In my search for lessons, classes and workshops to join during weekends, I chanced upon a fortune telling event last January 27, 2018. A few more searches later, I was led to a free basic meditation class on the same day as the fortune telling event. Best part? The venues were only a few meters away from each other and the sessions were just an hour apart.

The fortune telling event was hosted by Power Stones. All I had to do was buy Php 500 worth of crystals to be entitled to a free tarot card reading for one question. I bought a tiger’s eye bracelet and an amethyst (my birthstone) mediation stone for a total of Php 650 not only to get a tarot reading but because I was also curious about crystals.

10152492836570923Where did the interest stem from? As a kid, I remember reading up on birthstones and their metaphysical and mystical powers all the time. Then, I would borrow my mom’s jewelries and try to see if the crystals were working their magic as I have read. When nothing would happen, I would let my imagination take over and create stories in my head.

10151728375025923When I was going to take my CPA board exam, my mom bought me a wizard bracelet from Minex Crystals as a study aid. Admittedly, I have always been easily distracted and was not as studious as my elder sister. The most I could spend time truly studying was twenty minutes. That’s why my mom was more hands-on with my studies than she was with my sister.

Whether the bracelet helped or not, I do not know. I do remember studying better than I ever have though. I also remember lending them to my sister when she took her CISA and CRISC certification exams, both of which she passed. After that, the bracelet just disappeared and no amount of turning the house upside down led us to finding it. Maybe it’s because it has served its purpose already.

Why was I interested in the tarot reading? I have never relied on divination in the decisions I made but they were always fun to try. I read my horoscope from previous months, weeks or days to see if what was foreseen for me happened. Must be the auditor in me—always skeptic.

The first tarot reading experience I had was two years ago during a Chinese New Year celebration in my previous employer’s office. They invited fortune tellers to give free reading and my officemates and I took the opportunity to find out what the cards were going to tell us. When it was my turn, I was told that I was someone who held people to their word (so true). For that reason, I get disappointed when people break their promises (yes, but reasonably). I was also told that I will be someone who will leave my future partner and raise my child alone. To my “consolation,” I was told that I will be able to make it through all the challenges despite not having someone by my side to help me with them (#independent).

I wanted to see if the cards will say the same thing this time around. The answer I got though was the same thing I have always told myself; it does not have to happen to me. While I was not surprised with the reading, it did feel good to have an affirmation that I am not deluding myself into thinking that I can make a positive outcome of events for myself.

After the tarot reading event, I went straight to the meditation class I found through a post in Seabiscuit Films’ Facebook page. The post from that page led me to the account of Nick Daez, the one who was going to teach. I was hesitant at first to inquire about joining, thinking that it was for an exclusive group. Having noticed that his post (which was shared by Seabiscuit Films) was public, I sent him a message to ask for details. I was so glad that I reached out because Nick did not turn me away.

10151948106695923Since it was raining that day, I initially thought the class that was going to be held in a park was not going to push through so I did not bring any mat or blanket with me to sit on. However, before the tarot reading event started, I got a message from him and learned that the class was still going to happen. I then, asked my mom a favor to buy me anything I could sit on from the nearby mall while my tarot reading was going on.

Nick was very nice and kind, making sure everyone felt welcome. He allowed us to introduce ourselves and share why we got interested with meditation. Despite having done meditation for three years now, he was humble with what he knows. That did not stop him from being generous and wanting to share the experience with others.

I learned a lot during the class. He covered basic breathing techniques that truly helped a lot in clearing my mind. My favorite part though was when he taught us a technique that called for thinking about what made us angry the most, feeling the rage, and then letting it go. I needed it a lot because despite having tried the Headspace app, I was not sure if I was doing the meditation right. It felt good to have someone around to teach you the proper ways of doing things.

I met a few people from whom I also learned about how meditation helps them. Apparently, I was not the only one going through a phase that required adapting and adjusting to a new environment having just moved to a new job almost two months ago. It felt good that there were others who were also looking for ways to listen to themselves more because we tend to forget about it as we navigate through our busy and noisy lives.

10153291250320923They say what is meant to happen will happen. I like to think that I was meant to meet and learn from the people I encountered during both the tarot event and the meditation class. Maybe it was the universe helping me in my attempts to get out of my comfort zone and try some things I would not have thought about spending time on in the past. Maybe it was just me all along. Regardless, I would like to pursue meditating because it did help quiet down my mind that’s always thinking and worrying and fretting. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get to use my amethyst meditation stone one day.

The rest of the afternoon was spent bonding with my mom who patiently waited for me be done with both events I went to. I could see she was happy that I was trying to learn new things. Hopefully, next time, I can get her to try out new things with me.

Have you tried having your fortune told? Did you like it? Did the readings come true?